DO you ever feel like life just freezes?

Not in a peaceful, still moment kind of way~ but in a “how did I end up here?” way. That’s what it felt like after my car accident four years ago.

One moment, I was going about my day dropping my partner off to the airport, and an hour later, I was in the ER, laid up in bed, barely able to move, staring at the ceiling and wondering when things would start to make sense again 🥹

🥹 in the ER, I was spiraling about things that were outside of my control—

I had totaled the only means of transport that I shared with my friend, lost my work because of physical injuries, hid the fact that I got into a car accident from my family, the soaring medical costss and couldn’t focus on my studies due to brain fog.

At first, I thought the hardest part would be the physical pain. But honestly, my body didn’t start hurting until the next day.

The pain wasn’t just physical; it was the waiting, the not knowing part.

The feeling of being stuck while the world kept spinning without me.

People were traveling, going to work, making plans, posting selfies on vacations, going out, and I was in bed rest. Watching it all happen through a screen. I was consuming content to fill the void,» scrolling, comparing, getting tangled in the “timeline” of where I thought I should be.

It felt like I was watching life pass me by in real time. And I kept wondering: Why me? Why me? Why now? How long will I be stuck here?

I turned to reading books, binged Korean dramas (I finished a lot of the dramas on my list during that time), tried to escape into stories that weren’t mine, just to take the edge off the frustration and the heaviness.

Some days helped, but other days, I spiraled into questioning everything. Questioning why my timeline was stuck and when would my DAY come??

Healing wasn’t linear, and neither was my mindset.

But something happened in those slow, quiet moments too. Somewhere in between the resentment and the reruns, I began to let go of the pressure to fix or rush my way through it. I didn’t have answers, but I started to believe I didn’t need them yet. I took myself out of the equation and practiced the law of detachment.

Taking myself out of the equation meant recognizing that

• It’s not always about MEE.

• Not every outcome is a reflection of my worth or effort.

• There are forces, timing, and lessons at play that I can’t always see yet.

I began to trust that this in-between space was doing WONDERS for FUTURE me.

That even in stillness, I was moving, healing, changing, and becoming someone I wouldn’t have met if life had gone “according to plan” (but seriously, when does life ever go according to how we want it to go anywayss 🥹)

That moment of stillness, as painful as it was, built me. It taught me to let go, to believe that even when things make no sense, there’s something sacred unfolding beneath the surface.

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I never thought I would be able to share my vulnerable story now, because at that time, I made it seem like everything was going good in life and I wasn’t suffering and going through mental battles.

And if you're in a similar space right now, in the thick of the not-knowing.

I just want to say- I get it. And it’s okay to feel tired of trusting. But don’t lose hope.

The in-between time isn’t one that’s wasted, but a sacred ONE.

One that might just be shaping you in ways you won’t fully understand until much later.

• You’re allowed to feel frustrated. You’re allowed to rest.

• You’re allowed to find joy in silly TV shows and movies and anything else that gives your spirit a break.

• And you’re allowed to trust that what’s meant for you is still on its way. Even if you can’t see it yet.

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I’m glad you’re here and grateful for your support.

I write about navigating life abroad, cultural shifts, personal reflections, mindset shifts, creative pursuits, passion exploration, inner child healing, and personal development - however you want to name them.

You can find me on socials @passionflow_coaching and @rojinayahh.

Learn more about my coaching offerings and find my free meditation + guidebooks here.

Thank you again for being here, and I'd love to hear from you.

Ciao ~ see you on the next one 💗